


Saudade

by pcychotic



Category: EXO (Band), NCT (Band), f(x)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-01 23:38:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10203431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pcychotic/pseuds/pcychotic
Summary: Inspired bg the fancam of Taeyong getting shy around Soojung.I've posted this on aff already. :) Thanks for reading!





	

The news broke out on the 1st of April, nine days before his debut. He wasn't surprised, really. He knew it already. Their relationship was inevitable, everyone expected them to be together. Gossips like this spread like wildfire in their company, especially since half of the pair is from EXO. Sehun has warned him about it months ago.

  
_"If I were you, I'd move on and go fancy other girls. Godamn, Taeyong! She's inlove with him, as she's always been, and he's slowly realizing his feelings for her, too. I won't be shocked if they start dating in a month or two," Sehun told him when they were in a practice room together. He looked at Sehun, puzzled._

_"Don't look at me like that. We both know what I'm talking about. I've seen you stare at her like she's the only thing you can see. I know it's not easy, but, forget your feelings for her if you don't want to get hurt," and just like that, Sehun left him in the practice room. All alone with his thoughts._

 

 

Part of Taeyong wished that the rumors were true. That Jongin, or Kai, as fans would call him, is gay. That he's in a relationship with Kyungsoo or Taemin. But he knows it's impossible. He's been in the company for years to know that some members of EXO are gay, but Jongin is definitely not one of them. He heard that rumor that Jongin once fooled with Seulgi back when they were teenagers, way before she realized that boys just aren't her thing (as rumors say). He never confirmed it, though. He doesn't want to.

 

_He was seventeen when he first saw her. She was eighteen. F(x) was already huge back then. He was a fanboy and was ecstatic to meet them, especially Sulli whom he always thought was the prettiest, but it changed when he saw her. Soojung. She's breathtaking, literally breathtaking. Taeyong was 100% sure that he stopped breathing when he saw her._

Taeyong was breathless from endless practices since the choreography for The 7th Sense is difficult. It was particularly hard for him who got almost 70% of the lines. He wasn't complaining, though. SM gave him much more than he asked for, and for that, he's thankful.

 

"Okay, okay. 30 minutes lunch break. I want you all back here in 30 minutes! Taeyong, I want to talk to you for a sec," their choreographer says. As his groupmates leave the practice room, he walks toward their choreographer.

"Is something wrong? You seem off."

"I'm sorry. I'm just tired."

"This isn't the time to get distracted, Taeyong. You're days away from your debut. You've waited for this opportunity for such a long time. Don't let anything else bother you, okay?" His choreographer tells him, genuinely concerned.

"I'm sorry. I'll do better, I promise." It's more of a promise to himself, really.

"Okay, you may go. Eat well."

 

Taeyong sees Jaehyun waiting for him just outside the room.

"How are you coping up, hyung?" He asks as they walk towards their company's small canteen.

"I'm okay."

"You don't have to fool me, hyung. I know that you're not really okay. You seem distracted. Everyone noticed it."

Taeyong sighed. He pauses. Jaehyun, too, stops walking.

"It's my fault. I'm the one to blame here, ain't I? I already knew right from the start that she loves him, but I still fell for her. That was stupid of me. Really, really, stupid." He wanted to stop but before he could, the tears start to fall down.

 

_It was his 1st year in the company, they were about to have their annual evaluation, so he was practising nonstop from morning till midnight. He wanted to be on top. To prove to people that despite his mistakes in the past, he could still be the best. He was so into his dance that he did not notice a person enter the practice room. When he finished his routine, he heard a faint clapping, he was shocked to see Soojung smiling at him._

_He prayed hardly that she wouldn't see his faint blush. He bowed 90° to her._

_"You dance with so much passion. You're the 3rd person I've seen dance like that," she spoke to him in banmal. It's the first time that they've been in a room alone together. He was quite surprised. They weren't even that close to begin with._

_"Who are the other two, sunbaenim?"_

_"Taemin and Jongin." She said, beaming. He can't help but notice how her eyes shined brightly when she particularly mentioned the latter. Taeyong felt something tug in his heart. Jealousy, as Jaehyun would later tell him when he shared what happened._

 

 **Soojung belongs to Jongin.**  
**Always had and always will**.

 

Soojung calls him that night. He deleted her number, but to be honest? He doesn't have to. He memorise it by heart, anyways.

"Taeyong," she says. Taeyong's heart aches. It has been months since he last heard her call his name.

"I'm sorry." She says. Her voice hinting not sadness, not remorse, but pity. Taeyong sighs.

"What are you sorry for?" He asks. "Noona, you don't have to. I mean, you're obviously happy. And that's all that matters."

"I'm sorry you heard it from the media first. I wanted to tell you but I don't know how. I was a coward. And I'm sorry for that."

"Noona, it's not your fault," he assures her.

"I've always known your feelings for jongin hyung. And I'm genuinely happy for both of you." _Liar!!! H_ is subconscious self tells him. _You're definitely not happy for them!_

"Thank you, Taeyong. I appreciate it. Again, I apologize for all the pain I've given you. I wish you the best, because you deserve it. Goodbye, Taeyong."

Taeyong heard her say goodbye alot of times but this one seems final. And that makes him long for her more.

"I love you." He whispers.

But he knows that he's talking to no one anymore.

 

_Taeyong and Soojung became friends after that time in the practice room. They would everyday talk through calls and video calls despite Soojung's busy schedule. Taeyong doesn't really remember how they became close. Maybe because of their small age gap? He wasn't sure. It doesn't matter for him anyways._

_He likes her. And he knows that she knows. He actually had hopes for their relationship to blossom. Their friendship was short lived, though. It ended abruptly, sadly._

_The last time he saw her, she was drunk, pissed drunk. He was tipsy, too, but he was still conscious of what was happening. It was one of the parties thrown by their company. Soojung drank so much, probably because of the fact that Jongin wasn't in the party due to an overseas schedule._

_He was alone in the balcony, done with socializing with people._

_"Taeyong-ah! What are you doing here?" She giggles. She looks hot. She always looks hot._

_"Noona, you're drunk!"_

_"No, I'm not!"_

_"You most definitely are." He tells her. She stumbles and Taeyong catches her. Their faces are now just inches away from each other._

_"You're cute. You know that? I like you." She tells him._

_They stare at each other's eyes for moments before he kisses her. She doesn't respond for a second, but she eventually kisses back. Taeyong felt fireworks exploding in his head. He won! They make out for God knows how long. The night was perfect. Almost too perfect._

_"I love you, Soojung." He tells her._

_"I love you too, Jongin." she answers back._

_And the fairytale ends._

_Soojung's eyes widen. Taeyong was frozen. He knew it coming. Everything was too good to be true._

_"I'm sorry." Soojung whispers and runs away from him._

_He doesn't even bother to stop her._

**Soojung belongs to Jongin.**  
**Always had and always will.**

\-----------------------------------------------------

**_It was one of those nights._ **

**_Soojung was in China, she's filming a movie. Taeyong was in Korea._ **

**_Soojung calls him._ **

**_"I'm learning Portuguese. It's a pretty language." She says, proudly. He laughs._ **

**_"Then tell me something in Portuguese."_ **

**_"Saudade."_ **

**_"What does that mean?"_ **

**_"It's the hopeful yearning of someone which you know you'll see again but can't right now."_ **

**_"That's indeed pretty."_ **

**_"Saudade, Taeyong."_ **

**_"Saudade, Soojung."_ **

 

fin.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired bg the fancam of Taeyong getting shy around Soojung.
> 
> I've posted this on aff already. :) Thanks for reading!


End file.
